I feel like I have done somthing wrong

I say in the darkness of my room

To the empty space that hears my fears

 

No response

I try to imagine what you are saying

But I fail for lack of knowledge of your voice

 

If I had tried harder

Or done more

I would be able to see your face

 

I pray everynight to see you

No, not in my dreams

Not in my sleep

 

I want to see you for real

I want to touch you

I want to touch your face!

 

As tears run down my cheeks

I know this is not the way I am supposed to be

But why

Everynight I long for something more

 

I know these thoughts are selfish

But should I be parted from my lover

In this cruel way

 

Is it bad for me to want to touch you?

And kiss you and feel you?

 

I can't warm myself in my cold bed

As I cry silent tears of sadness

 

Just hold me

Is that too much to ask?

 

I know it is selfish

But you are the person I love most

Is it to much to ask?

 

To have you by my side

You made me this way

Physical touch

And eyes to see

Is a big part of me

 

I wipe my tears away

Knowing there is a new day

 

But I am tired

Of waking up everynight

Longing for more as I look out my door

 

I know I am a child

With a pure child's heart

But even children

Want more than a bedtime story to calm their hearts

 

Don't I deserve it?

I follow your ways

I sacrifice the things I like most

 

You challenge me more than anyone

But I love you more than air

You are my oxygen

 

I would give my life

Just to see your face

But why must we play this game?

Of Hide and Seek everyday

 

I seek and seek and seek

But I never see you near me

 

I tire of running

I am out of breath

 

I know this is a lovers

Despret peom

But I have tried everything left

 

I want to be close to you

I have never seen you in my life

Why must you be my hiding lover tonight?

 

I am very childlike

In many ways

But have you forgotten?

Those intimate days?

 

I give up

I sigh

In the darkness of the night

 

I turn off my music

I close my eyes

Knowning I will not see you tonight

 

I have dreamed and hoped

But even a child knows

When to stop her fantasy life

 

I hate these moments

I hate being torn away from my world of joy

And my Fathers Day of happiness and play

 

I am not fan of the reality of it all

But can't you just play along?

 

I beg of you

Hold me

I am going to crumble

As my heart cries out

Clinging on to the thought of you

 

I hear nothing

As you choose to be silent

I strike my pillow

Like a angry tyrant

 

Before my hand can strike again

It falls limply on it's last whim

The monster fades away

As the child comes out

As she whimpers pittifully all curled up

 

That child is me

She never tells anyone

She never complains

Always smiling

 

She can't honestly say that she smiles through her pain

But at night it's the worst part of the day

 

I am always joyfull always smiling

But what is it with the night?

That makes that child shrink in fright?

 

I am sure you are holding me

But I can't feel it

I don't feel secure

As I lay on my bed

Praying for a cure

 

Hold me, is it to much to ask?

I'm simply in awe with your work. It's so emotional and so beautiful. I'm simply speechless! An amazing work!

Thank you, girl! You are too kind, really. I'm glad you are speechless, that is very much a honor!

Oh, and I will be writing another fanfic ASAP, last night I was given anther story, from that place in space...that huge library of poems and songs and stories, all waiting to be written with a human hand.

I can't wait, it's a good one!

Edited January 15, 200719 yr by Cutekit