Bobo

Cheers amigo! I'm here workin til 4, then I'm cracking open something cold and wet.....and I'm thinking there's only coleslaw in the fridge!!

You breathe the wrong way going through passport control and they get the rubber glove out! They refuse entry on to the plane if you're seriously half cut. Incase you scare the children!

A: Cant Stand Me Now (The Libertines) Q: Should I Stay Or Should I Go? (The Clash)

I can't imagine Michael Jackson with BO. I always thought he'd smell of coconut oil?

Trust me, you'd reconsider after a few hours of being in the company I keep. Although I'd need someone to apply the ambre solaire on my back! I hate flying, and its a bad idea that I have to check in 3 hours from departure, how they can expect you stay sober with 3 hours to spare is a joke.

I'm off to Majorca for a week of mischief on Saturday. Not a respectable one among us, must look they've just let us out for the day. Looking forward to continental bevy. The bookies odds of something unplanned and **** happening are 2/1.

Dunno, watching it slowly melt was fun. The plastic became a puddle on the saucer, you could have put it on toast and ate it. I once got a pair of girls edible knickers in a plastic egg from a machine abroad (dont ask), cant remember what I done with them.

I once had an aeroplane in a kinder egg, I did manage to build it minus the crappy instructions. We melted it in the microwave for fun and poked at it with a knife. Mucky pups!

Thats a scary moment losing sight of a wee one alright. My bro smashed my ankle bone with a golf club (9 iron) the day before we went on holiday to Malta years ago, spent 2 weeks hopping around the island on crutches with a plaster on my right leg, what a tit he was, still is mind you. When we came back my leg was half brown, half pale blue! Malta is way too hot, nice melons by the way.

I see, you don't want to let any other Scotsmen hear you say something like that. I'll let you off, but remember to always think twice!

If you've never been to Scotland before I'll forgive you for that remark this time Not that I have anything against England, I have many friends down south, it's just sometimes people make that terrible mistake of labeling us as English!

I wouldn't perform on TOTP if you paid me, especially with that Bacon twat presenting it, I'm sorry but I agree with The Magic Numbers on this one.

Are you serious?

The Glasgow show is actually one of the best bootlegs I've heard, brilliant if you have a good stereo with loads of bass. A few people clapping along with Billie Jean annoyed me, though there's not much in the way of singing along, I couldnt stand Michael Jackson's songs sang in a Glaswegian accent. He didnt talk to the crowd as much, probably didnt know where he was, if he had said England there would have been a riot, so many people have made that error, not pretty or clever.

Giant hairy spider VS a lizard? They should have that on down the pub, you could gamble on who would win. I'd say the spider would win, unfair advantage.

What do you mean? I can make out what they are sayin easily, the line 'Am I standing on your toes?' is great, also the 'they're fightin over his jacket, thats just showin ye up proper', total corkers.

Was listening to the 'Dangerous Tour' bootleg from Glasgow earlier. My God, have you actually listened to the people who are obviously standing next to the person who recorded the gig, its brilliant, just as entertaining as the concert? The funniest thing being a guy telling his mate where the best place is to get a good view: 'you're standing aboot there in the middle a' naewhere like a pr*ck'! Isn't our accent just the best Great to listen to in all, sound quality is great, crowd right up for it. Ah the memories, as I look back with rose tinted shell suit bottoms.

The lad knew what he was doin, I tip my hat to him.

A man with his head screwed on

A: One (U2) Q: What Happened To Ya? (Ian Brown)

Whatever you're on, I want some of the same! Good stuff!

Are they f@*k! Melt in your pocket, you need an industrial screwdriver to make the toys fit together properly, dangerous for anyone under the age of 18, I could go on all day. Dont even get me started on those Bueno thingies, pure mook!

I'd never whack a lizard, they're cool. I do however want to catch one before it disappears down its hole. Its those strange looking beasties that are gonna get a smack from the underside of my flip flop! Feel the wrath of Bobo, y'know what I'm sayin!

No Moby's Sub mix of 'Beat It'?

A: Breathe (The Prodigy) Q: Can You Dig It? (Mock Turtles)